You come over for dinner

And I burn all my candles down for you

And you sit at the edge of the room

Refusing to step into my world

So cocooned in your own

I find myself shifting uncomfortably in mine

As you peer in at me with your nose upturned

 

I forget how to be in my world

I forget how to be in my skin

I feel like a person and a shadow of a person 

And a shell of a person all at once

All overlapping with each other

All mixing together

Intertwining, tangling

One big silent mess

 

I feel you looking at me but you are reluctant to see me

I try to turn myself into a mirror

For you

You ease a little at this

And the grease of this ease

Is so slippery 

I slip down in my seat and into a foggy nothingness

 

 

You are gone now

And I feel like I am a smudge left on the seat by me

My world wonders where I have gone

I’m sure I’ll be back soon

I always find my way back

It usually just takes some time

 

I need to buy some new candles too.