I want to grow my hair so long it wraps around me like a cloak

When I was young I barely spoke

When I was young my hair grew down to the tops of my legs

Strangers would touch it without my consent

And remark upon its length

I want to grow my hair so long I can sit on it again

I used to tie it round my neck

Like a scarf

It made my sisters laugh

On cold days, it kept me warm

I want to grow my hair so long it flies behind me like a flag

When I was young I spoke to god

Only once did he speak back

I did not understand 

Several times, I shaved my head

You should have heard what people said:

Nothing really 

It was already cool by then

And those who didn’t think so would just stare 

And then act like I wasn’t there

Sometimes I see a woman with no hair

And think about my husband’s beard trimmer

Whilst staring at a picture

Of me in 2022

I looked so cool

But no one looked at me how I wanted them to

They have started to now

Am I allowed

To want that?

I want to grow my hair so long that when I tie it in a plait 

And turn my head too fast

It’ll hit you in the eye

When I was young I did this to boys I didn’t like

It made me smile

I want to grow my hair so long

It looks like something’s wrong

I want to go for a run with it trailing along 

Behind me in the wind

Caressing the ground

Picking up dirt

And filled with birds

And bees

And leaves

I want people to look at me

And feel at once disgust and glee

Hate and lust and jealousy

I want the hair on my head

To touch the hairs on the backs of my knees

And for the two to whisper sweet nothings to each other

When I was young I asked my father and my mother

If I could cut my hair

But I was not allowed

Not even my monobrow 

I’m not sure why, even now

I want to grow my hair so long that when I lie down

It becomes my bed

A little nest

Where I fall asleep.