You left a gaping hole

But that’s all you ever were

I fall through you now

From the muddy earth

Into the unknown

As if thrown

From a building

There is so much rebuilding 

To be done

Now all the tales have come undone

They taught me you were all I had

That I could not be truly sad

With you by my side

On my darkest nights

When the shadow men came out to play

You sat at the end of my bed

And told me I would be okay

And when my world would start to crumble

I would close my eyes and mumble

“Help me, please”

And indeed

You did

Or so I thought, so I wished

I was just a little kid

Until I was 22

You were all I ever knew

Now approaching 27 

I see that there is no heaven

There is no hell

I felt like an empty shell

When I learned

You don’t control the universe

You don’t exist

This is it

There is nothing to understand

There is no one holding my hand

There’s no one sat at the end of my bed

I’m all alone inside my head

But I still catch myself calling your name

When I don’t know who to blame

When I don’t know who to thank

When I feel my heart go clank

When I no longer see the point

I still call out to you now

Like a hook thrown into the void

And I hang myself from your absence.